Answered by Muftī Yūsuf Badāt
Question:
Am I allowed to update my marital status as “separated” in Canada if my current husband does not own his full responsibilities towards me and my orphan kids, in spite of his high income? I live with my kids in a separate place, while I am the only bread winner of my own household? (Separation in Canada means you are still married but do not want to live-in together and your finances, residence and meals are separated).
Answer:
In the Name of Allāh, the Almighty, the Most Merciful, the Most Kind.
In Islam, separation is usually only established by a muslim judge, between a married couple due to a predicament that may have arisen. That being said, islamicaly, it is the obligation of the husband to provide the basics of life which generally includes food, shelter, medication and clothing for his wife and minor children. Financial responsibility falls on the husband / father, in Islam. Married couples are to do their best to live together under the same roof while fulfilling each other’s rights and responsibilities. This is how a decent marriage operates. – (See: Badā’i Al-Ṣanā’i, Vol 2, Page 332, Dār Al-Kutub Al-‘Ilmiyyah[1])
In Islam, if a couple voluntarily agree, without compelling either, to live separately and be independent of one another, while still having a status of marriage, or lawful nikāḥ, although not encouraged, is permissible. This will be deemed as a mutual agreement or contract.
“Lodge them where you lodge according to your means, and do not injure them in order that you may make life difficult for them.” – (Qur’ān 65:6)[2]
“Their [the wives’] maintenance and clothing must be undertaken by the father [of the children in result of the marriage] in a virtuous manner.” – (Qur’ān 2:233)[3]
“And if a wife fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them – and settlement is best. Stinginess is present in [human] souls. But if you do good and fear Allāh – then indeed Allāh is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.” – (Qur’ān 4:128)[4]
“O you who have believed, fulfill [all] contracts.” – (Qur’ān 5:1)[5]
“Muslims will be held to their conditions, except the conditions that make the lawful unlawful, or the unlawful lawful.” – (Tirmidhi 1352)[6]
And Allāh Knows Best.
[1] وَمِنْهَا وُجُوبُ النَّفَقَةِ وَالسُّكْنَى لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى وَعَلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ [البقرة: ٢٣٣] وقَوْله تَعَالَى لِيُنْفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِنْ سَعَتِهِ وَمَنْ قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنْفِقْ مِمَّا آتَاهُ اللَّهُ [الطلاق: ٧] وَقَوْلِهِ أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنْتُمْ مِنْ وُجْدِكُمْ [الطلاق: ٦] وَالْأَمْرُ بِالْإِسْكَانِ أَمْرٌ بِالْإِنْفَاقِ لِأَنَّهَا لَا تُمَكَّنُ مِنْ الْخُرُوجِ لِلْكَسْبِ لِكَوْنِهَا عَاجِزَةً بِأَصْلِ الْخِلْقَةِ لِضَعْفِ بِنْيَتِهَا – كتاب بدائع الصنائع في ترتيب الشرائع ج ٢/ ص ٣٣٢ دار الكتب العلمية
[2] أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنتُم مِّن وُجْدِكُمْ وَلَا تُضَارُّوهُنَّ لِتُضَيِّقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ – سورة الطلاق ٦
[3] وَعَلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ – سورة البقرة ٢٣٣
[4] وَإِنِ امْرَأَةٌ خَافَتْ مِن بَعْلِهَا نُشُوزًا أَوْ إِعْرَاضًا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا أَن يُصْلِحَا بَيْنَهُمَا صُلْحًا ۚ وَالصُّلْحُ خَيْرٌ ۗ وَأُحْضِرَتِ الْأَنفُسُ الشُّحَّ ۚ وَإِن تُحْسِنُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرًا – سورة النساء
[5] يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَوْفُوا بِالْعُقُودِ – المائدة ١
[6] الْمُسْلِمُونَ عَلَى شُرُوطِهِمْ إِلاَّ شَرْطًا حَرَّمَ حَلاَلاً أَوْ أَحَلَّ حَرَامًا – رواه الترمذي ١٣٥٢
